Looking Out

John 3:25–30

Phrases that spoke to me today:
• all are going to him
• the friend of the bridegroom rejoices greatly at the bridegroom's voice
• this joy of mine is now complete
• he must increase, but I must decrease

Applying the Word to My Life:
Last Mother's Day, the schedule didn't work out quite the way anyone planned and we didn't have the full family there for dinner. One of the boys apologized to my wife for not being there. She told him not to worry. There was joy in seeing them grow up and live their own lives — that is what being a mother is all about. It is hard to be sad when you see your children growing up and becoming responsible.

I have thought about that answer a lot since then.

John's disciples came to him worried — everyone was going to Jesus now, the crowds were shifting — they expected him to be troubled. He wasn't. He told them this was exactly how it was supposed to go. He used the image of a wedding: he was the friend of the groom, not the groom. The friend's joy is complete the moment he hears the groom's voice.

John's joy was already complete. Not when the crowd was with him — but now, hearing that they were going to Jesus.

The shape of that answer and my wife's answer is the same.

Both of them had something at stake. My wife wanted her sons at the table. John found joy in spreading the message to the crowds. But both of them put someone else above their own interests. Neither was pretending. There was genuine joy.

The reason is the same too. John wasn't running his ministry for himself. He wanted the best for the people who came to him — and the best was Christ. If John had been looking inward, he would have fought to hold what he had. But it was never about him. It was always for them.

My wife wasn't thinking about herself either. She wants the boys to grow up and build their own lives. Seeing that happen is the whole point. The empty chair at the table isn't a loss — it is evidence that something went right.

When things go well for someone we love — at a cost to ourselves — it gives us a good idea of the direction our love is focused. When we can be genuinely happy for someone else without stopping to calculate the cost to ourselves, that is a healthy outward focused love. That is what Christ-shaped love looks like in practice.

The question worth asking is which direction your love is facing. Inward-centered love keeps score. It wants the people around it to stay close and stay grateful. Outward-centered love wants the best for the other person, even when that means they need less of you than they used to.

John spent his whole life pointing toward someone other than himself. My wife spent that Mother's Day doing the same thing in a different way. Both of them were looking out.

What does that look like for you?

My Response for Today:
Today I will think about one relationship in my life and ask whether I am loving that person inward or outward — toward myself or toward what is actually best for them.