Still Standing

Romans 5:6–11

Phrases that spoke to me today:
• while we were still weak, Christ died for the ungodly
• while we were still sinners, Christ died for us
• while we were enemies we were reconciled to God
• we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ

Applying the Word to My Life:
Paul says it three times, and each time the stakes go up. While we were still weak. While we were still sinners. While we were enemies. Weak means we didn't have what it took. Sinner means we made the wrong choices anyway. Enemy means we were actively working against him. And at every level, God moved anyway.

He didn't wait for better conditions or hold back until we came around. Christ died for us at our worst — not after we became something deserving it, but while we were still the problem.

We are not wired the same way. We hesitate.

Before we give something to a person on the street we wonder if they're playing us. Before we ask for a promotion we wonder if we'll get a no and what that will say about us. Before we talk about our faith we measure the room and decide it's not worth the reaction. We hesitate — and the reason we hesitate is the tell. Behind every hesitation is something we're protecting. Pride. Self-interest. The image we want people to have of us. The thing that causes us to hesitate tells what is standing between ourselves and committing fully to God.

For me, I felt like I was supposed to start sharing these reflections publicly. I resisted for a while. There were a lot of reasons — some of them I could name and some I couldn't. Underneath all of them was fear. Fear that people wouldn't connect with what I was writing. Fear that I'd find out I wasn't as good at this as I thought. Fear that my understanding of the faith was off in ways I couldn't see. And the vulnerability of putting yourself out there as a Christian — knowing some people will reject that outright before they read a word.

I was hesitating because I was protecting myself.

Eventually the call felt clearer than the fear. So I started. And people have told me these reflections have helped them think about their faith differently and see scripture in a new way.

Our hesitations reveal something about our relationship with Christ. The reason we hesitate is a window into what we haven't surrendered yet.

Christ didn't hesitate. Not because there was no cost — the cross was the cost. But because there was nothing he was protecting more than us. He wasn't managing his pride or calculating whether we deserved it. He went all in while we were still enemies.

Our hesitations are not just inconveniences. They are invitations. Each one points to something we are holding onto more tightly than we are holding onto him. The thing we're protecting instead of trusting.

The heart that doesn't hesitate is the heart that has nothing left to protect.

My Response for Today:
Today I will name one thing I am hesitating on — and ask what I am protecting by not moving.